Meditation

I was an early Saturday monring cartoon watcher as a child. It was before there were channels devoted to children's programming 24/7.  I memorized the catchy public service announcements like "You are what you eat from your head down to your feet."  I'm a fan of catchy jingles because I can remember them, and if they happen to also carry something substantitive with them, all the better.  "You become what you worship" is another little saying I heard once, and it somewhat repeats that nutrition endorsement.  Whatever it is that we fill up on has a great deal of shaping power, figuratively and literally!

My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises. Ps. 119:148

Everyday I will praise you and extol your name forever and ever.  Ps. 145:2

There is a consistent connection made throughout all of Scripture between works and words.  God spoke creation into existence.  He explains the Gospel and works it out and provides words to declare His works.  His people declare His works to each other and to generations.  We do this too and all the time.  When we see something out of the ordinary, we want to tell people.  When something consumes my waking thoughts, it is hard for me not to share it.

I too meditate and speak.  The thing is, its not really a descriminating process.  I joke about the fact that I have no private thoughts, which can be both helpful and exhausting to my husband.  Its helpful because I am certainly not harboring any grievances, but the exhausting part is self-explanatory.  But either way, I am going to talk to whoever is in front of me about whatever is most on my mind, and whatever is most on my mind is going to shape the way I approach my days and my relationships too.

Even among Christians whose Christianity relies heavily upon their working "so that" God can work, there is still a strong belief that the goal of our lives is that others would "see Jesus" more prominently than me.  While Biblical meditation involves a rehearsing of all the wonders and glories of God, I do other mediation far more often: its called anxiety.  As Mark Davis from Park Cities Presbyterian Church said, the meditation of anxiety is the rehearsal over and over again of what might go wrong, how my greatest fears may become reality, what people might assume of me or say or think or do to me.  This meditation on my circumstances begins to shape my heart and even my view of God, so that not only do I become the center figure in my story rather than Jesus, but I effectively reverse the life-giving order God has provided in the person and work of Jesus.  Because of His completed work, Who He is begins to shape my heart and perspective on my circumstances.

For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 2 Cor. 4:5

I have been preaching myself far more than Jesus lately because I have been meditating on my works, my ways, my plans and purposes far more than on His.  He is my Father, which is one of the many truths He repeats over and over in His word.  Until I meditate on His active Fatherhood, until I rehearse over and over His particular love for His children, His strength, His provision, His shelter and His intimacy, I don't realize how deeply I need to repent of my self-reliance, self-protection and self-promotion.  Because of the completed work of Jesus, in person, on earth in real time, I can be certain of all the words He has spoken upon which I can meditate and find rest.  My safety, my provision and my very life have been given a home in the One who laid the foundations of the earth and apart from whom not a hair can fall from my head without His consent.  I have a bridegroom who is not waiting in a non-plussed way for me to come to Him down the aisle but who is running down the aisle to me!  Oh may I begin to meditate more on the glories of His works, the beauty of His heart and become absorbed with Him until there is room for nothing else, and therefore life for everything else.

Intended for Good/ Crafted Intentionally for Good News

I am headed to Nashville today for a week with the PCA's General Assembly where I may run into some old friends, hear some of my favorite writers and teachers speak and in general be encouraged in my faith by those who are far wiser than I may ever be. For a lot of people, this sounds like an incredibly religious and excruciatingly boring way to spend a week.  I, however, am really excited.  It hit me just this morning, as I was picturing myself showing my children the Vanderbilt campus, that God was giving context to the story I now find myself in, even if not fully explaining it. 

The very place that started my trajectory of drinking up the Living Water of God's grace in place of my white knuckled striving, where I was first introduced to the Gospel as it emphasizes the life of Jesus on my behalf as being just as important as His death on my behalf, the very place where I met the dear friends with whom I've shared our church planting adventure is where God is taking me this week in the midst of an otherwise confusing and seemingly forgotten story.  Seeing the details of this timing, the personal way this particular context speaks to my heart like no other, reminds me that God has not forgotten me, my current unpredictably and uncertain circumstances can be trusted as part of His larger life-giving story, and He is always so intentional and exceptional in the way He crafts His story.

Joseph (Genesis 37-50), a child favored by his father and resented by his jealous brothers, was sold into slavery by his brothers who faked his death to their father.  That alone would make for an intriguing and tragic story, but it was just the beginning of Joseph's.  He grew from childhood into adulthood in captivity.  He went in and out of favor with his superiors, he was falsely accused and thrown in jail, he became an authority figure to the leaders based on the wisdom God gave him, and he ultimately was made second in command over the very country that enslaved him.  Those are the highlights, and they are much easier to hear because we can see the full story in just a few pages.  But for Joseph, living in this story for years, he must have felt lost, forsaken, lonely and quite confused many times over in the course of things.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. 1 Cor. 1:27-29

Joseph went from a home of privilege where he was cherished and honored and spoiled by his father to the life of a servant where he was not known,  not honored and suffered in multiple ways.  Sounds a little familiar...

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.  John 1:1-5

Joseph was foreshadowing what Someone else would do generations later.  Joseph's story helped explain with a little more detail what had first been promised in Genesis 3:15 and 20.  Someone would come in Adam's place to complete the work that he had abandoned and bear the punishment that he deserved, and this wasn't merely for the sake of that one account but for all of the offspring of the woman for generations to come.

But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:19-20
 
This man was handed over to you by God's set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. Acts 2:23
 
Now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders. But this is how God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, saying that his Christ would suffer. Acts 3:17-18
 
In both cases, men acted wickedly and out of ignorance but God was still writing the script.  What this means is that even my wickedness and ignorance, even other people's wickedness and ignorance which negatively impacts me, doesn't mess up God's good plan for bringing life both to me and His entire kingdom.  This is the hope in the midst of heartache and disappointment, confusion and meaningless - that He is not confused or disappointed but is doing something far more beautiful than my limited perspective can grasp.  It gives meaning and value to my suffering because it is not wasted or shameful but part of a greater context than I may now comprehend.
 
As I return to Nashville this week, it will be a time of remembering what God has done and regaining a vision for what He will do.  Moments like this which provide a wide angle view of the bigger story in which we find ourselves are rare and need to be received as gracious gifts.  As they increase my faith that God is intentional in all the details, that not a hair falls from my head which is unknown to Him, and that He is good all the time and to be trusted, I am compelled to worship even in confusing chapters.
 
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.


But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.  Psalm 13

Honored

"I have sometimes wondered, friend," said Aslan (to Reepicheep) "whether you do not think too much about your hounour." 

"I was wishing that I had come of a more honourable lineage." (said Caspian)  "You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve," said Aslan.  "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor in earth.  Be content."

- from Prince Caspian
                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.  Col. 1:27

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation for me in Jesus, even as there is limitless condemnation for me apart from Him.  They are compatible, even inseparable, in the person and work of Jesus.  My lack of condemnation, my honor and my hope are no longer in my perfections, but in His.  Though my deepest, darkest attitudes, thoughts, actions and words may be shameful enough to bring low the shoulders of emperors, His righteousness allows me to hold my head high.  Though what I lack (as Reepicheep had lost his crowning glory of a tail) or what I offer (the offensive appearance and smell or the seeming laziness and lack of contribution of a beggar) are my shame, I have been filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. 1 Phil. 1:11


What does this mean practically?  Well, as Aslan urged Reepicheep the proud mouse, I can spend a little less time worrying about my dignity, my reputation before others, my honor, my "place" in this community or that group...and more time loving others out of the oh so very ever so secure position of being His beloved and being found in Christ.
 
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  Gal. 3:26-28
 
As Scotty wrote about a week ago in his daily prayer, "It means I can love people and not expect them to give me what you alone can supply. It means I can serve people and not hold them hostage to my selfish ambition and vain conceit. It means I can become more intrigued than irritated with others… more restful than rigid in their presence… more caring than criticizing of them."
 
Christ in me, not the evaluations or opinions of others, is my hope of glory.  Christ in me: the law fulfilling, exact representation of the Father, living and working of Jesus which is growing and maturing in me, is my hope of glory.  I walk as a beggar with a head raised to the world not because I am prideful or arrogant or in denial of what others can plainly see but because, as a variation of what Jack Miller once said, I am actually so much worse than can be plainly seen!  And the righteousness of Jesus credited to me is so much bigger!
 
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Phil. 2:1-4
 
How much of my energy, time, thoughts, emotions, plans, worries, fears are but thinly veiled hunts for my name to be honored, for the satisfaction of my own interests and the pursuit of my own selfish ambition all swimming in vain conceit?  How much of these same resourcess are spent in pursuit of the interests of others (and not so they will like me more or even serve my vain conceit in their approval of me!)?  He left His seat of honor, His home in Glory, to be made low that I may be clothed in His forever solidified honor.  What if I began to enjoy His honor more and need my own less?  That would be Good News indeed.

Wonderful Counselor

I've had two days in a row where I heard my own sharp, cutting comments made about other people and other situations which were never mine to evaluate in the first place.  What an ugly, life-sucking, divisive way to engage with community and address the struggles of fellow family members in the Body.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Is.9:6

A very close friend, who is a masterful counselor, is just so, so very good at hearing the heart underneath the comments a person makes.  When off the wall statements are thrown her way, she tunes in to the story of the person's life out of which the declarations have come.  I, on the other hand, just say, "Well that's an idiotic thing to say!"  Oh, I am so glad that our Wonderful Counselor does not treat me the way I have been responding to others this week.

We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 2 Cor. 5:12

But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' Matt. 15:18

I am so distracted and preoccupied by what is seen that I rarely consider the heart which is where all the actions, attitudes and words originate.  My agitated words express the agitation in my heart - not simply about the comment to which I am responding, but pre-existing agitation.  Both the comment I am hearing and the comment I am making are coming from hearts which believe certain things about God, self, redemption and hope.  My heart is not an exact representation of the heart of Jesus, yet, and so my sin and unbelief are exposed just as my hopes and growing faith are revealed.

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:19-20

There is hope for my ugly, agitated heart because God (not my new resolve) is greater than my heart!  And there is hope for the person with the bad attitude or confounding perspective because God is greater than his or her heart also.  He is not agitated nor is He confounded by our words because He hears the heart behind them, understands the story by which the heart has been shaped and is the One shaping that heart to image His own - in His time by His strength for His glory.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Eph. 4:2
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Rom. 12:10
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as the one who would turn aside his wrath, taking away our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:10-11

My sharp judgments or critical unloving statements simply reflect a heart that needs Jesus, and this is not a shameful reality but the beginning of the most beautiful one.  Why should I feel feel contempt toward others who express (even if unconsciously) their equal need for a redeemer when we should both rejoice that we have One!  It is not my job, nor remotely within my power, to change anyone's heart, including my own.  But perhaps I can start listening more to hearts than simply words and be encouraged that there is a story there which is pointing to Jesus.  As I begin to hear that story, my responses may change from irritated judgments to interested questions, digging with joy into the redemptive tale of a heart of unbelief (or false beliefs) which is being transformed into one of greater faith and hope in the person and work of Jesus.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Is. 52:7

Growth of a Mustard Seed

When I pray, other than the all too brief moments of thankfulness or praise or occasional repentance, I mostly pray for something to happen.  Sometimes the something is on behalf of someone else who I care about, but whose circumstance doesn't really effect my days.  The rest of the "somethings" are a tangle of "God, if what I believe about you is true, you should work this situation out this way..." and "God, I am helpless to do anything about this particular circumstance so I beg you to do this!"  Both have at their hearts, as Adam Young spoke* so eloquently at Atlanta Westside on Sunday, a deeper desire:  to be certain that God exists, that He cares about me personally with affection, and that He is involved in the details of my life to a beautiful end.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Psalm 42:1-3

What my heart and my soul are thirsting for is God...not in some ethereal way, but to tangibly know that He is with me, that He loves me even when I am a fool or cranky or clueless or lazy and to know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I am beginning to think that this is why He calls me into prayer...to pray until I am certain of these things for which I hope.

Instead of this as the reason to continually pour my heart to Him, I call prayer pointless if it seems it will not bring about the thing I want...the reconciliation of loved ones, the healing of cancer, or perhaps the rescue of a job or lost child.  In that framework, the point of prayer is to acquire a particular outcome of circumstance.  I try to force God's hand by employing greater number of "prayer warriors", designating a certain time frame for focused and disciplined prayer, and crying out with all my emotions ("see God, I am now genuinely empty and at my end!") as a final arm twist.  My thinking is that there is a code God is wanting me to crack to get what it is I want, and once I put together the specific combination of sincerity, volume, emotion and numbers, He can then do whatever I am most wanting.

Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? 2 Cor. 11:23-29


To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:7-10

What Paul realized, and I what I need to begin to grasp, is that God's love and involvement isn't calling me to a stoic denial of my desires but a panting after the Living Water that will be satisfied in Him alone.  This actually requires that I not deny my deepest longings because it is only in that honest spilling of my guts (as Adam Young also shared) that my faith can most honestly be birthed.  It is only as I trust God with my weakness (rather than trying to overcompensate with spiritual fig leaves), trust Him with my confusion (rather than trying to sort it out myself), trust Him with my blindness (rather than trying to strain and see by myself) that I begin to really know Him as the Lover my very soul and not merely the Sugar Daddy for my every whim.

To pour out my desires and heartache and impossible dreams to the Lord, over and over, for decades if necessary, requires that I keep hoping in His earthly presence rather than dismissing Him as far off, removed, or perhaps not even there at all.  When I stop praying because to face my desire hurts too much, and the disappointment of not receiving what I ask for cuts too deeply, I also stop abiding in the only One in which life is to be found.  When I stop pouring out my heart to the Lord, I stop being honest in my relationship with Him and settle for artificial pleasantries which begin to turn my heart cold.  When I only pray if I think He will do what I ask, I have traded in genuine faith in the dynamic, Living God for something toxic and lifeless.

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 1 Sam. 1:10

Oh may I begin to pray like Hannah, for years and years resisting cynicism and resignation - not to manipulate God into serving me or to only get what I want, but as an act of intimacy by which my own heart may be reminded of it's only true, safe and life-giving home.  I desperately need to know that He is near, that He cares and that He is involved in my daily-ness.  May this hope be made certain as I persist in facing my unmet longings and bringing them to Him today, tomorrow and for decades to come.

*As of this posting, his sermon about Hannah has not been posted to the Atlanta Westside site yet.  But I ever so highly recommend listening once it is.

Sing Praises

Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises. Ps. 47:6

Kind of like a tough guy not looking as intimidating with a popsicle, it's just hard to be bitter and sing heartily.  It may feel awkward at times, or may be energizing at others, but either way it effects one's soul, even if lightly. 

The other morning, Ellie, Chad and I made the rule that you could not speak but could only sing our thoughts to each other.  It was as hilarious as it sounds.  The best part, we decided, is what it did to flaring tempers.  When you have to sing (preferably in an operatic melody) "Stop that, stop that sto-o-o-op that!" rather than harshly yell it, it does far more than a soft answer to turn away wrath.  It makes everyone giggle and immediately forget whatever rage was sparked by what is typically some small violation of personal rights.

Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.  Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.  Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.  Psalm 150

Singing praises to God is more than just "the power of positive thinking".  It is a contrast to "reality denial".  Singing praises to God is focusing more on true reality than I often I remember in the course of my day.  Just like my children can have their tempers ignited in an instant over personal rights violations that usually are somewhat trivial to an outside observer, I am no different.  I forget that He who made the stars and calls them each by name can have no plans thwarted.  When my plans are thwarted, His are not, so I can praise Him.  I forget that when soldiers come to take my Lord away to the cross, I don't have to chop off their ears, because He is in control even then and doing something huge, so I can praise Him.  I can praise Him when I don't understand and when I deeply resent the way things appear.  Rather than reality denial, it is a reality reminder to my own heart.  I can choose to worship Him and praise His ways and will or I can worship at the alter of my own agenda...which can be powerfully tempting.

Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD from the heavens, praise him in the heights above.
Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars.
Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies.
Let them praise the name of the LORD, for he commanded and they were created.
He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree that will never pass away.
Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children.
Let them praise the name of the LORD, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. He has raised up for his people a horn,  the praise of all his saints, of Israel, the people close to his heart.
Praise the LORD.  Psalm 148
It was November in college of my senior year and that time of year and semester when everyone was ready to go home.  Classes were heading toward the end of the semester where more papers were due and exams were looming.  Roommates had begun to lose their sparkle and the weather was getting colder.  It was in this context that eight of us on a leadership team for a ministry at Vanderbilt gathered for our weekly meeting.  We each came in the door like abused dogs, heads hanging low and tails between our legs.  The negativity and stress were palpable.  We chose to pray only praises.  We had to go on a long time because it started slowly and reluctantly.  At one point someone looked up and said, "Nope, can't stop yet, we're still a sad lot."  We kept praising and thanking and praising and thanking.  I kid you not, we were giddy by the end.  We were laughing and joking and even full of energy.  Nothing in our circumstances had changed.  The same stresses awaited us after we went back to our apartments and studies.  But our hearts and minds had been given perspective. If He was still on His throne in control of all things, well then, maybe we could choose to delight in that.

Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him! Psalm 147:1

Mile Wide Inch Deep

The small group movement "is succeeding less because it is bucking the system than because it is going with the flow. It does not offer a form of community that can be gained only at great social or personal cost. Instead, it provides a kind of social interaction that busy, rootless people can grasp without making significant adjustments in their lifestyles." Robert Wuthnow

Most of my life I would be described as "a people person".  It's a rediculous term, technically, but is another way of describing an extrovert's being energized by people.  Feeling connected to people fills me up, so the more the better.  But there is a rub.  The more people to whom I try to attach myself, the less genuine is the connectedness which exists.  While there are certainly friendships that span the decades and weather moves, long distances and even great lengths of time between visits, these are not what make for genuine community anymore than Facebook friendship.
Honestly, I've come to acknowledge that I have no ability to multi-task.  This includes relationships.  I can't have great time with my children and a much-needed visit with a friend at the same time.  I have to choose.  I don't always choose wisely and am trying this summer to make my children more of a priority than I have in recent years.  The jolt of going from "my own life" to that of being a mother made it so that I came to resent not being able to be with friends whenever I wanted at the same high level of social activity I had before they were born.  Large numbers of friends both seemed an unalienable right to which I was entitled and something I needed to exist in good standing in community.  Perhaps like Martha angrily and frantically working in the kitchen, Jesus never asked me to be committed and connected to so many people.  After all, He who is the lover of all His children's souls, devoted Himself only to a small few who He then entrusted to care for others likewise.

Rather than my relationship addiction, which ends up creating a personal community that is a "mile wide and an inch deep", Jesus' time on earth seemed to favor something more like an inch wide but mile deep.  Why do I resist this?  Why does that make me nervous?  Why do I continually feel pressure from myself to maintain so many relationships that none can really grow that intimate?  Why does it seem just unrealistic in the world in which I live?

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.  Acts 2:42-47
 
These people were together every day.  They shared multiple meals together, not just one every six months or less.  They were in one another's homes regularly.  Their lives were so entangled that they all shared each other's stuff!  This kind of sounds like they were neighbors, literally not just figuratively.  This kind of Gospel community just isn't realistic with my beloved friends who live more than a few miles away.  This kind of Gospel community isn't possible when I feel I must pay into too many relationship accounts in too many spheres of life.  This is not going to happen when I have to schedule our time together a month out because our calendars are so full of good things that we're not available any sooner.
 
So I should just write off all my friends who live outside of my neighborhood?  So I should never make new friends?  So I just ignore the new person who isn't already in the "inch" I've already got?  Hmmm...these are good questions, but here are some more.  What makes the relationships available in the homes right around me not as worthwhile as those who live far away?  Might there not be someone Redeemed by Jesus living on that new friend's own street?  If not, maybe I should consider moving to be neighbors.  What untouchables in my life make my heart push back at that notion?  What is it that my heart is demanding from friendships and people that really should be satisfied by my Redeemer alone?  How is my expectation that I invest in every single person I've ever met or felt drawn to actually placing myself in the position of the Redeemer that they need most too?  Why do I assume what they need most is my attention and not the attention of the Lover of their soul? 

For me, this is the beginning of Gospel community as described in Acts.  They shared life's dailyness together, and their togetherness was found in their dailyness.  In this togetherness, they shared food, clothes and connecting conversations.  By this their celebration of God was increased and their community became characterized by praise instead of grumbling.  I cannot be all things to all people and should not require that of anyone else.  God has instituted Gospel community, not to replace Him but in which to enjoy Him more. What if it turned out that, as Ed Welch said, I will actually love others more when I need them less? I require a mile or more when I am grabbing at fulfillment, desperate to be known and needed and assuming the role of Redeemer that has never been posted available, as if it were an abandoned position.  I will find satisfaction in the inch of community outside my front door, (or even just inside it!) when I begin to find my fulfillment in Him, my satisfaction in being intimately known by Him and my validation in the person of work of Jesus rather than the praises of men.  It is only from this place that I can move out to serve rather than be served, to sacrifice socially or personally, and to freely enjoy Gospel community as it reflects Him rather than as it serves me.

Burden Sharing

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal. 6:2

I have had several dear friends follow up with my last post in concern. That is community. We have not been left to carry life's trials, even the ones we bring upon ourselves, alone. While some of my burden has to do with a particularly exhausting circumstance in my life, most of the weariness has come from exposure to the burdens of those immediately around me rather than a particular crisis in my own immediate family. It's a tricky thing. It can border on trying to control reality rather than believe the Gospel in the midst of it. It can feel like meddling.  Bearing one another's burdens doesn't have a script. It certainly violates all of our society's rules about individualism, stoicism and keeping our own hands clean and our personal space protected. But those rules are not part of the law of Christ.

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Ps. 68:19


The good news about not being left as orphans is that God is not standing back behind lowered spectacles waiting for us to get ourselves out of the messes we have made or others have placed us in. Joseph's mistreatment went on for decades, and it wasn't that he was perfectly sinless in it all. Moses' troubles, Job's suffering, David's turmoil, Paul's struggles and even Jesus' suffering did not contradict the love, intimacy and care of God but were part of and crucial to the divinely scripted redemptive story for all men and all of creation. Each of these men in their darkest moments felt the despair of abadonment...but only one took it so that nobody else would fully have to again.

Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. Col. 1:24

Part of joining in the redemptive life of Jesus is not merely standing back and offering words of cheer and high hopes to those suffering, but to enter into it with them. When struggling with depression, financial crisis, violated safety, broken trust in a close relationship or ugly personal attacks, an outsider speaking true words of hope without really grasping the true depths of despair, ends up sounding trite and almost more hurtful. I have felt trite and helpless and so ultimately, as expressed yesterday, hopeless in moments of this burden bearing in which I've wanted and attempted to hope and dream in the face of evident brokenness. So how can we do both - groan and hope with integrity and love? I cannot without the Gospel, and perhaps attempting to on my own is what made me so weary.

If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 1 Cor. 15:13-14


The resurrection doesn't gloss over the agony of death, but requires it. It faces the darkness of Calvary with the truth of fuller life breathed into dry bones. It is the only thing that makes decay work backwards. It is the "deeper magic" of Narnia which trumps the deep magic embraced by the White Witch. It is what gives us the courage and strength to immerse ourselves in the darkness of our loved one's pain and emerge on the other side with more life than we had before.


But without the death, there is no resurrection; without the flood, there is no redemption. The way of the cross is suffering and then glory, but not the latter without the former. Your best life now may turn out to be a fairly unsatisfying product if not "made complete, perfect and lacking nothing"(James 1) through the trials of many kinds that produce in us the life of Jesus.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 2Cor. 1:3-9

Whether it be my own burdens which I allow and even invite others to share with me, or whether it be the dark nights of my friend or family member's soul into which I enter, would I spend less time trying to redeem on my own (the drive to be a bad ass for Jesus, if you will) and more relying on God who raises even the dead. I am thankful for just such a burden sharing (in both directions) community and just such a God. May we only grow into this more in the coming weeks, months and years to come.

Though He Slay Me

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?  O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.  Psalm 22:1-2

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;  my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. Psalm 13:1-4

I confess to being in one of those places of doubt, dismay and creeping near despair with my faith.  That sounds overly dramatic when put in print, but it's just that disappointment and discouragement seem to dominate my circumstances in an absurd way lately, to the point of feeling like its a bit of denial to keep claiming "God's sovereignty", "God is good all the time" or "this is the most loving thing from God and I'll see how it is so eventually."  Quite honestly, the cumulative effect is something like I imagine drip torture to be - each little drip not so devastating but evenually the victim just goes crazy. 

I couldn't sing our first songs at church yesterday, though I love them, because it just felt dishonest.  I haven't felt God's faithfulness nor His rescue nor His help nor His hand in a real tangible way in a long while.  But I have felt the brokenness, loneliness, woundedness, toil and futility of a broken world in the lives of those I love and the situations in which I have been placed.  Even with my dangerously hardening heart, God met me in this place in one of the early songs.  "God is good" sings that "He brought me out of darkness, God is good."  Cynically, I thought, "He brought me INTO darkness". But even after that bitter yet honest rewording of the song, the words which followed were still "God is good."  And that may have been the subtle way God speaks the person and work of Jesus into my darkness.  He brought Him into darkness, God is good.

Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." Matt. 26:38

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" When some of those standing there heard this, they said, "He's calling Elijah." Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. The rest said, "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to save him."  Matthew 27:45-48

Elijah would not save Him, and He would not be saved in the way those whose hearts died when their newly identified Lord was killed would have hoped.  No relief was given in the garden of Gethsemene the night before.  No rescue came on that cross and darkness covered the land. 

Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him... Job 13:15a

Jesus is the only one to actually be forsaken by God the Father.  He is the only One to actually experience pure darkness, utter condemnation, absolute aloneness.  He covered Himself in my shame, my despair, and my hopelessness.  He was brought into darkness, because He is the only one who can be called "good".  Only because of His goodness could the darkness not get the last word, the defining paint stroke, nor the final ownership of the word "reality".

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Rom. 8:17

Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. Col. 1:24

He brings me into darkness for His glory, which I am also invited to share.  Like Job, seemingly unfair suffering strips from me the hopes (and assurance, confidence, peace, strength, joy) I look for in everything other than God alone.  The wearisome disappointments, the painful wounds, the betrayals, the scandals and the fearful circumstances are only tastes of what Jesus entered into on my behalf and serve not to eradicate my faith but to eventually strengthen it.  He dismantles my self-serving faith to rebuild a deeper, purer more entirely grace dependent faith which does not just trust in theory, but trusts whole heartedly in the One who is creater, sustainer, redeemer and Father over me and all of creation.

I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.  "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.'  My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Job 42:2-5

I do look forward to a day when my faith will be sight.  For now, I am still filled with doubts and fear and sorrow.  But for today, I will go where the Psalms quoted above ended:

But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me. Psalm 13:5

For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help...All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the Lordand he rules over the nations...They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn— for he has done it. Psalm 22:24,27-28, 31

The Gospel and The Church

“The Gospel plus nothing”: It means that the person and work of Jesus are responsible for my creation, redemption and ultimate future perfection as His glorified image. It means that my work at trying to be nicer, my efforts at trying to love, my engagement in social justice in the community and peace making in my family win me no extra points with God nor lose any future benefits. My blessings are all a result of Jesus’ obedience and my disobedience (deliberate or otherwise) is entirely dumped on Him, as if He’d done it rather than me. This, however, does not mean that those efforts are inconsistent with the person and work of Jesus.

A recent late night discussion took place about a friend’s vision to see his local church reflect more of The Church, the body of Christ, as it is and will be seen for all eternity. Another friend replied to this expressed desire for more diversity and community engagement with the trump card statement, “Well, it should be the Gospel plus nothing.” It sounded right, as if he was saying, “Lets not make new laws which aren’t required of us in the Bible.” But it missed what is in Scripture altogether, and therefore, the Gospel itself.

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. Matt. 5:17

Adam and Eve were made to reflect God’s love, goodness and care of all creation as perfect images of Him. This image was corrupted by sin. The Law was introduced not as a new set of punitive restrictions but as a written reminder of what God’s image looks like. For this reason, Jesus wouldn’t dare eliminate the least stroke of it, for to do so would be to minimize the glory and perfection of God! This is why Law and grace are not in conflict. The Law is still the most accurate picture of Who God is and it is by grace rather than works that we now can satisfy its demands. The fact that He fulfilled it means that it is no longer by our futile striving that we too can reflect Him and His perfect character, but by faith in the One who clothes us in His fulfillment of the Law, He is increasingly revealing Himself through us.
For the local body of Christ to reflect the eternal diversity of The Body of Christ is not a new law but the picture that has always existed. To be “missional” or whatever the newest term of the day for outreach or evangelism comes to be, is not a style or personal preference, but rather who Jesus was as He came to serve rather than to be served, to seek out the sick rather than those who thought themselves perfectly healthy. His people, as described from Genesis onward, would encompass “every tribe, tongue and nation”…why on earth would we not want to be a part of that now?

Honestly, for me, the answer to that question lies just below the surface of my consciousness. It has something to do with the fact that I really want church to be a place I can finally let down, relax and be “at home” with family who accept me as I am. I spend my week “in the trenches” and want Sunday morning to fill me back up, massage my sore muscles and meet my emotional needs that are often drained by the end of the week. And, I want church to be something like “Cheers” where everybody knows my name and they’re always glad I came.
So, when church becomes a place where people don’t all know my name or maybe don’t even know that I came, I become resentful. Then, when church becomes a place I am asked to do one thing more (like seek out others who think differently than I do, serve other people instead of being served myself, consider church a gathering of local missionaries rather than a Saturday afternoon family cook-out), I honestly feel a little dismayed. Then I feel guilty for being selfish but still tired and needing a moment to have my needs met. The only way for my natural mind to understand the co-existence of Law (all those shoulds in life and the church) and grace is to separate them and pit them against each other when one is not possible for me in a given moment.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:1-9
Why do I want the church as an institution to minister to me rather than require I find fullness of life in Jesus alone? Why do I want the pastor to fill me with life and love and care before ever finding my soul’s rest in God alone? Why do I set His picture of a fully redeemed image of man, fully restored creation and His glorified Kingdom up against the Gospel as if the two were not one and the same? Maybe it’s because I limit the Gospel to a message of salvation and not one that goes on to preach restoration. If “the Gospel” is just about getting into Heaven, then who cares about life between now and then?

But when I am reminded that all the Scriptures are about the person and work of Jesus and that the church is to reflect His image, the 2nd Adam who rules and reigns over all creation with care and nurture to see it all thrive, my sights are elevated and my heartbeat to join in this Gospel begins to pound. Oh may I begin to believe that the Gospel calls me to work for restoration in all facets of creation while it is also the only means by which that restoration is possible? May I begin to see the mature, complex and perfected image of the Body of Christ as something far more desirable than a Sunday morning support group?

Hope Replacing Futility

This morning at the beach, as we anticipate the oil spill's approach any hour now, we were discussing a report my father-in-law saw on the news last night.  Anderson Cooper was holding up something that looked like toilet paper and explaining its ability to grab the oil without absorbing water.  We laughed a bit at the seeming futility of that solution, thinking we'd need everyone in the U.S. to come out with two handfuls of the stuff to even begin to clean up all the oil.  The futility of the effort makes it almost seem pointless.  This is very much how I feel about all sorts of broken situations in my life and the world that surrounds me.  Angry people, a tanking housing market, the growing orphan crisis compounded by governments (yes, even our own) whose pride often interferes with the greater good, and so on.

Earlier in the morning, I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon from quite a while back and he used a wonderful analogy (that I think I may have written about before and will do again today):  Two people are set in two separate but identical rooms with identical jobs.  Their job is to screw part A into part B all day, every day for a year.  At the end of the year, one guy will be paid $10,000 for his efforts.  The second guy will be paid $1 billion.  The first guy keeps commenting on how tedious the job is, how grueling and demeaning.  The second guy thinks its the easiest job he's ever had.

We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thes. 1:3

Futility flavors our days and the tasks before us when, like the oil spill clean up, our efforts seem pointless and leading to no great end.  But because of the person and work of Jesus, His current reign over all creation, and the certainty the He will accomplish the making new of all things soon and very soon, we have a new flavor to enjoy as we chew the tasks of the day set before us.  Our endurance is fueled by hope, which is not simply a wishful thinking but a certainty.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

My committment to engage in clean up efforts, of the Gulf or of my neighborhood, in the environment or in my own family, is prompted by love that is not merely "do goodism" but produced by faith in the same One who has restored my soul from the pit of emptiness and is committed to doing the very same in all of creation.

There are relationships that are just as easy to walk away from, in resignation that nothing will ever change, as the Gulf and its overwheliming, ever flowing oil.  But He has not and will not walk away in resignation from my hard heart which gives me the only possible ability not to walk away from others or consider any individual relationship a futile effort.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.  Eph. 1:18-23

If Jesus is far above every rule and authority, power and dominion, not just in the age to come but now as well, why should I live as one defeated?  If He has promised to complete the good work that He has begun (Phil. 1:6), He has promised to make all things new(Rev. 21:5), He has promised to never leave nor forsake me (Matt. 28:20, Heb. 13:5), I can screw part A into part B and find it the easiest job not because it isn't tedious or grueling, but because what is to come is so much better than the hardship now.  On the way to the beach, the ride gets long and the scenery through the middle of nowhere, routes that even cell towers won't go, feels endless to small children and adults alike.  But we don't quit or head back home because we know the beach makes it all worth it.  Those light and momentary troubles are nothing compared to the riches that are to come...and that is just a beach trip!

So even today, when I am met by a child's bad attitude, a friend's cynicism, and my own critical, disdainful heart that refuses to love others as I have been loved, may I not throw my arms in the air and wave the white flag of defeat.  Oh would I begin to believe that He who is in me is so much greater than my heart, so much more powerful than any earthly power or inclination.  Would I stop looking to the seen for my hope, stop searching my own resources for the solution and believe His promises to be more certain than the chair on which I am sitting.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

Skipping Rocks

A year ago March, I went up to a lake in North Georgia for a week with my children. It was one of those perfect weeks of simple, slow-paced fun. We did puzzles on the screened porch, played games in front of a fire and skipped rocks from the dock on the lake. It was the skipping rocks that brought the biggest smile to my heart and made me think, “Could anything be better at this very moment?” Chad was a little too young to really understand how to throw the rocks properly to get a good skip, but the ample supply of perfectly flat pieces of rock near the dock allowed Ellie to find consistent success. It was thrilling to count the number of hops each rock would take and a fairly addictive sport.

Unfortunately, I have rediscovered my utter delight in rock throwing lately in the direction of people around me, near me or even who stand at an unassuming distance. My supply of easy to succeed rocks is unlimited and the targets seem wide and too easy to hit…its an addictive sport.

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."  John 8:3-7

The woman was a wide target.  There was no excusing what she had done nor any way to sanitize it or rewrite it into something acceptable or even beautiful.  She had directly broken the Law, morally and socially.  The judgment of the people was indeed just.

God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith.  Romans 3:25-27

Did Jesus send the people away with a message of tolerance of sin? I don't think so. His point wasn't "Hey, we all have issues so let's not be so judgmental." Instead, the Gospel tells me that my issue is deeply infested and infectious sin and that I am equally and justly deserving of condemnation as the easy targets around me seem to be for my rocks. But it goes further to tell me that I (and all my targets) have another target for our justice rocks: Jesus. More than that, He has not just taken my deserved injuries and left me with the shame of the whole experience, but He has covered my shame in the extravagant robes of His righteousness. Will I not see these robes covering the shameful, condemnable sins of my targets as well?

So he answered the king, "For the man the king delights to honor, have them bring a royal robe the king has worn and a horse the king has ridden, one with a royal crest placed on its head. Then let the robe and horse be entrusted to one of the king's most noble princes. Let them robe the man the king delights to honor, and lead him on the horse through the city streets, proclaiming before him, 'This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!' "Esther 6:7-9

If the King delights in me, whose sins He has covered and replaced with His righteousness, and has done this for all of His children, may I not begin to view others with this same honor with which God cherishes them?  How different might my love of people begin to be if I gazed not on their shame alone but on the promise of their honor and restoration?  Would my delight in pointing out people's shame be transformed into a delight in pointing out their honor, Christ's honor covering them.  Would God gently replace my stoney heart with His perfect love, which is just and the very same one that justifies those who are in Christ Jesus!?!

Filled with Laughter

Looking at his disciples, he said: "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.  Luke 16:20-21

My adorable parents, who will have been married 38 years next week, flew up to Connecticut yesterday to attend the high school graduation of one of their former students at Atlanta Youth Academy.  Many of the AYA 8th grade graduates are the first in their families to graduate from high school and to then attend college, so each mile marker is all the more worth celebrating, and worth the travel expenses to do so in person.  So, as my parents were enjoying their flight, the pilot came over the intercom to make his routine announcements.  He had a little something extra for my parents:  "We have some very special guests with us today - Chuck and JoElyn Johnston in seats 22A and 22B!  They are flying on their honeymoon and what is more remarkable, this is Chuck's 7th marriage!"  (My soon to be brother-in-law works in Air Traffic Control at the Atlanta airport and has a direct line to the pilots.  I'm now an even bigger fan of his than I already was...if only I could have seen their faces!)  I just laughed and laughed when Dad reported this, after beginning with, "Well, we survived the flight and the guy accross the aisle from me thinks I'm some kind of hero."

What does this have to do with the person and work of Jesus?  Well, no more or less than everything else in our lives.  Do we separate the sacred from the secular, as if there is a distinction?  Are our spiritual lives limited to the more obviously religious aspects, or does His rule and reign encompass it all?  Do I really think that only topics that are fitting for a stern old woman wearing a tight bun in her hair are the things God is interested in or, is it possible, He is the God of hearty laughter too?

You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.  Nehemiah 9:6

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.  Acts 17:24-25

Why do I restrict God's interests and domain to the "temples" of my own making (chronic illnesses, unpaid bills, divided marriages, mental illness, sorrows, brokenness and crisis-only prayer requests)?  My worship in these temples is of the sorrow, the heart ache, the "seen" of His unfinished business instead of the certainty of things hoped for in His Kingdom. Do I miss celebrating His power at work within us because I am so fixated on His not using His power to do what I want on the outside of us?  Isn't He the one who gives life, abundant life, even to dead and dry bones?  Isn't one of the greatest signs of life rib cracking, tear streaming, undignified laughter? 

What do I believe about His dominion over all of creation?  What if God told us to "be anxious for nothing" not as a new law to obey but as an explanation of the benefits to us of His rule and reign even now?

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."  The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.  Psalm 126:2-3

Genuine laughter comes when I feel most free, most relaxed, most "full" with the present company.  Isn't that a picture of shalom?  The person and work of Jesus remembers the Garden and points to an even better fulfillment of that time which was only a shadow of the Kingdom to come.  When I am enjoying my environment, my fellow men, myself and my God, laughter can serve as a reminder to my own heart that He reigns so that joy may reign as well.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  John 10:10

Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.  Psalm 136:3

Snacking on The Bread

Great are the works of the LORD; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Psalm 111:2

I was reminded by Scotty Smith's prayer this morning of the necessity of breakfast feasting on the Gospel.  I spend far too little time pondering the great works of the Lord and far too much time whining and worrying about the work in front of me.  I fixate on the sorrows of people around me and miss the story God is weaving in their lives of His grace and His power.  I look intently for my prescribed solutions and forget altogether about the salvation He brings through suffering but also the delights of His presence scattered like unexpected Easter eggs throughout the course of a given day.

I need to fill up on His mercy and grace and love and care first thing, but I really need to snack on it all day.  Its not like a Gatorade commercial that I can pour in me and then use on my own.  I am tempted all day to return to my own resources, evaluate and judge based upon my own perspective, attempt to achieve and accomplish by my own power...and then wonder why I am so worn out and inevitably defeated (at the very least in one intended endeavor) by the end of the day.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.  Psalm 1:1-3

How could I possibly delight in the Law of the Lord unless I knew through the Gospel that it's extensive demands have been met in full by Jesus, who offers me His record?  How can I do anything but wither apart from my safe hiding place in Him?  How can I do anything but prosper in the care of the One who numbers my days, tells the waves where to stop, and calls me His child?  Jesus did not come to abolish the Law but to fulfill it, to embody it as the exact representation of the Father.  I delight in His law because it is a picture of Him and of who He is making to me to be by His effort, through His designed classrooms in life with His promise to complete the good work that He has begun.  He blows away my narrowly defined American idea of "prosperity" with His better Kingdom notion of the prospering of His image and His creation.
 
And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Matt. 3:17
 
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal. 2:20
 
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3
 
What if I began to really believe that I, who am hidden with Christ in God, who no longer live but have the life of Jesus being worked out in me, am the recipient of God's love and full pleasure?  What might that change in the way I love others today?  What might that change in the way I approach the tasks of the day?  What if I begin to ponder the great works of the Lord as He is bringing His Kingdom in the hearts of my family, my neighbors, my friends even as outwardly some things appear to be wasting away?  What if today I snack on the many ways these beloved of the Lord are being renewed inwardly and His image is indeed flourishing?
 
I'll close with Scotty who helped me get these thoughts flowing:
There’s no nutrient I need more than the fresh manna of your grace. Nothing tastes as sweet as the assurance of your welcome… presence… and affection. I’ve never met a carbohydrate I didn’t like, but just send me ample supplies of the Bread of Life and I’m a “happy camper”… far better than that, I’ll be a different man.

Relief

Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? Lamentations 3:38

Like so many moments in life, a movie scene from The Three Amigos comes to mind as I process my current circumstances.  Steve Martin, Martin Short and Chevy Chase are Hollywood actors on a mission in Mexico that they assume is a great acting job but is really because they were sought by people in the town who believed their characters were real.  As they are wandering through the desert, the sun beating down on them as they are covered in sweat with dehydrated mouths wide open, Steve Martin finally reaches for his canteen only to receive the faintest trickle of remaining water.  Martin Short's character opens his mouth, tilts his head back, and receives a mouthful of dust.  They both turn to Chevy Chase's character who is just opening his canteen and then pours an endless stream of water into his mouth, so much that he uses some to gargle and spit and then tosses the remaining water onto the desert floor where it drains out with such force that the surrounding area puddles.  When he notices their forlorn stares as he is putting on chap stick, realizing his neglectfulness, he enthusiastically offers, "Lip balm?"

I am feeling like Neddy Niederlander, with a mouthful of dust as the response to my thirst for living water today.  Complicated circumstances in my life seem to keep getting worse, expenses only doubling and tripling.  Trying to "figure out what God is teaching me" doesn't really work because it assumes I have His omniscience or that He has left me orphaned and on a scavenger hunt for His care.  His "blessings" aren't bargained for by my wit or good works, they are entirely earned by the person and work of Jesus.  My poor choices have already been accounted for on the cross.  So I am left in this place of exile, the Garden behind and the Promised Land ahead, as He asks me to trust Him, stay near to Him and follow Him each day with no idea when the  lush land of milk and honey will be reached.

Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.'  Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel.  Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them.  I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' " Ezek. 37:11-14

I cannot open my own grave.  I cannot breathe life into my own bones.  I cannot grow His Spirit in me.  I cannot settle myself in the Land to which He has called me.  Like a drug addict, I want relief from the withdrawal of self-reliance.  If this expense could just be eliminated, if this puzzle could just be solved, if this direction could just be made clear...then I would be filled with joy and peace and be free to dance and sing.

I called on your name, O LORD, from the depths of the pit.  You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears to my cry for relief."  You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear."  Lamentations 3:55-57

Do I believe that I got myself into this mess, now I better get myself out, or that both calamities and good things come from the Lover of my soul?  Do I believe that I have been left to parent myself and survive by my own best efforts and righteous choices, or do I need the person and work of Jesus today, in this, not just for my acceptance after death?  Will I trust Him when He says "do not fear", or arrogantly assume my circumstance is somehow outside of His reign?  If it, like everything else in all creation, is part of His good, loving, redemptive plan, can I not sing and dance now as well?  Must my circumstances change to feel relief or can it be found in His protective care even now? 

You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  Psalm 139:5-12

Oh may I know more deeply than just intellectually that He hems me in, that He is not just with me as a bystander but as the One making the darkness light and therefore bringing relief to my soul.