It is Good

What shall I return to the LORD for all his goodness to me? Psalm 116:12

God made the skies, the heavens and the earth and said, "It is good."  God made the plants, birds, fish and all animals and said, "It is good!"  God made His people and said, "It is very good!"  His image in His people is so very good.  The unique ways in which He chooses to reveal Himself through each person He creates is so very, very good.

His attributes and therefore His image are not limited to His doing and accomplishing.  For this reason, the bed bound elderly, newborn or handicapped still reflect His glory.  Not even just "still reflect" but intentionally reflect His glory in a way that that couldn't be seen in another context.  However, those reflections of His image aren't more significant than the way the artist, writer, architect or hostess images Him.  Wherever His image shows up, it so very good.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Gal. 5:22-23


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Cor. 13:4-7


In whatever context I see the fruit of the Spirit, I see the Spirit of God moving, and it is good.  In whomever I see the characteristics of love, I see God's image, whether the image bearer gives credit to Him or not.  Apart from Him, there is no light.  In Him, there is no darkness at all.


Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.  1 Chron. 16:34


On this particular day, at this particular time, I am especially grateful for His goodness as I read it in Isaiah 42.
A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.  He is not appalled at weakness as we are, nor is He disdainful of brokenness like I am.  His image is not eradicated by sin's corruption, but is mercifully preserved.  He uses the weak things and the foolish things of the world to show His power, His tender care, His mercy and His unreasonable love for His creation.  My husband has been sick for the past five days and I have been totally not compassionate.  It bugs me.  I want him to be healthy and strong and helpful.  Yet, when I am sick, I want others to weep with me and stand beside me and serve my emotional and physical needs.  God is not like me with Terrell.  He asks me also to have the faith to be comfortable with and even delight in weakness.  As posted on Scotty's wall months ago, and maybe mentioned here, He redirects me from thinking only of "faith to be healed" but instead to grab hold of the faith required to remain in sickness.


He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10


This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.  Is. 30:15


In stillness I can see God's activity more clearly.  My salvation is not in my doing but in His, in which I rest even as I repent of my own attempts to do it myself.  May I find His strength in quietness and trust.  He is good all the time and all the time He is good.  This is evident in the bruised reed that He will not break because it is in His afflicted One that I have found life so that I can celebrate the other afflicted ones through and to whom He gives life, even to me.  It is good.

Big Decision Making Clarity

"If you were to die tonight, are you 100% certain you would be in heaven?"..."Before you make a decision, remember the ol' adage: 'when in doubt, don't!"..."Why did God let this happen?"

These are the kinds of things we as "Job's friends" throw out and call "wisdom".  I'm not sure if it happened immediately after the forbidden fruit was eaten or if it is the very thing that led to the first bite, but my own heart's tendency to trust my own perceptions more than God's Word is inherited from the generations of "family" all the way back to the Garden.  Because Adam and Eve couldn't confidently answer the serpent's questions and accusations about God's character and purposes, they chose to go along with him rather than the One who made them.  Their discomfort with the unknown, with uncertainty, with being asked merely to trust and obey has been passed on and perhaps even grown to be more powerful in my own heart than it was in theirs.

At some point, my notion of "faith" began to exclude the freedom to say, "I don't know" and instead felt compelled to provide an air tight dissertation to any challenge.  At some point, being bulletproof took priority. At some point, being right in the eyes of others became more significant and necessary than walking by faith into the "I don't know".  And this not because the "I don't know" was a thinly veiled form of independent confidence, but because His grace covers and makes much out of both my right and wrong turns because He is Lord of both!  Doubt, it turns out, is not sin but instead a new place in which to walk by faith and not by sight.  The two are compatible because rather than being a guarantee that a decision will lead to greater health, comfort or reputation, the object of faith is a confidence that the person and work of Jesus is in fact making all things new and that "even this" is part of that grand work of redemption.

He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  Acts 1:7-8


I want the schedule, the agenda, the script, the "heads up", a full disclosure, a list of all possible scenarios and then a unanimous vote of approval that "this" is right, good and trustworthy.  Much to my dismay, "all" that Jesus promised was the Holy Spirit to provide the power (and strength, wisdom, energy, fruit, etc.) "when the time comes."



In you, LORD my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. Psalm 25:1-2


I love that the Psalmist connects a fear of shame to the decision to trust.  It lets me know that God often pulls us into places easily mocked and condemned by onlookers, with even my own heart as one of those cynical onlookers.  The doubt that is loudest in my heart when God is pulling us to some weighty decision is from the anticipation of others thinking I'm a fool.  That ever present fear of man, fear of the "I told you so" when our decisions take us into hard and losing places.  "You don't have to be hungry", Satan enticed Jesus.  "You don't have to suffer!" cried Peter to Jesus.  "I'm delusional," Noah must have thought.  "Take this cup from me," begged Jesus.


In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will... Eph. 1:11


The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD. Prov. 16:33


For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Eph. 2:10


It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”  Rom. 9:16-17


This is the plan determined for the whole world; this is the hand stretched out over all nations.  For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him?  His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?  Is. 14:26-27


I know that the LORD is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods. The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths. Ps. 135:5-6


Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139:16


Not a sparrow can fall to the ground apart from God's permission.  Satan cannot move beyond God's set limitations for him.  Kings are set up and deposed by God's will.  It is God's certainty in which I must trust, and not my own.  Will His good, pleasing and perfect will be crystal clear on this side of a decision?  Sometimes, but not often.  Will His will be done even if Pharaoh is arrogantly oblivious, Judas thinks he's thwarted it, Noah falls down drunk and naked, and the people mock Jesus on the cross as being a powerless fool and a liar?  History and Scripture has told us, with great clarity, "Yes."


So if my decision making information is not without doubt, is not 100% certain and cannot explain to others the mind of God, what clarity does grace offer?  The person and work of Jesus promises to be with me always, to never leave nor forsake me, that absolutely nothing will ever separate me from His love and that He is working out His very good, pleasing and perfect will which frees me from both the fear and the arrogance of the competing notion that I am captain of my own vessel.  Oh what very GOOD NEWS indeed.  Hallelujah what a savior and hallelujah what a Lord.

Who Am I?

It was great that John the Baptist made a point of identifying himself as "not God".  I think that is more important than I fully realize.  On a typical day, I doubt many people assume themselves to be God, yet I think I for one share Adam and Eve's pull to be my own god, determining for myself (and others) what is right in my own eyes.  It is why I am so skilled at critiquing how others make their decisions, use their words and where they devote their energy, money and talents.  I like to think I have enough knowledge and experience to judge properly what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?  James 4:12


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Is. 55:8-9


Ever since the serpent posed the tempting questions in the Garden, there has been enormous pressure to identify ourselves apart from God.  "Sure, sure, I know I'm not God, but here is how you should know I am God-like..."  We then proceed to let people know who we know so that we can be elevated in their eyes by our associations.  We choose clothes, furniture fabric and fixtures to make it clear that we in "in the know" and not excluded from such style omniscience.  And our insiders knowledge grants us authority to both judge and stand in superiority to others who seem to be lacking such awareness.  We stay as up to date on the happenings in the news and in the neighborhood to also prove our omniscience rather than ignorance.  We volunteer to be the one to get something accomplished to demonstrate our omnipotence.  "No, No, I am not God, but compared to you, I am closer."


Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.  Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—  Matt. 20:25-27


What?!  NO!  That is my honest response.  The first will be last and the last will be first does not make sense.  The first will be first and I want to be first. "Not so" Jesus reminds me gently.  He "made Himself nothing" to do this.  Make myself nothing?  That makes even less sense.  I can aim for last place but what does it look like to aim for nothingness?


I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Gal. 2:20


It means I stop worrying about convincing others of my God-likeness and and am content to find my identity in Him alone.  What would that kind of "glory self" look like?  It might mean when people come to "see" my house, I feel less naked before them because I am clothed in Jesus and not my house's appeal.  It might mean that being grouped with the "cool" kids has less significance because I begin to see all the groups as they stand before Jesus in His Kingdom and not as we stand in arbitrary judgment of one another now.  This means I can be naked and unashamed (hopefully not literally!) when asked about who I know, where my kids go to school, what I do or what my husband does because I would be free from needing to prove any god-like identity apart from God.


So what is the point of being nothing if we've been given breath, life, talents and passions for being something?   I have been made to image the One who is the Creator, Redeemer, Lover, Sustainer and Life-Giver of His whole creation.  This is the same One who did His work by considering Himself nothing, laying down His right to be worshiped and glorified to get down and dirty at work, to be misunderstood, to be mocked and even physically beaten.  The "nothing" has to do with my own rights and desire to be worshiped and glorified.  The "something" is to pick up and share His cross to bring life and value to the others who He created, serving as His image before them.


And here is where grace comes in:  I am not "nothing" to God, nor am I invisible to Him.  He has rescued my soul from decay, my heart from hardening, my mind from numbness and my life from the pit!  He has breathed life into dry bones, offers constant Living Water to my otherwise dry and weary body, restores my strength and gives light to my eyes.  When I sing about the Lord as the one who "gives and takes away", it should be clear that He takes away the curse of death and replaces it with abundant life.  I can't always see that the prescription for "abundant life" that my culture offers is actually like arsenic to my soul, because that fruit from the tree looks so mouth watering.  But He gives me more grace!


May my own heart one day soon be able to answer the question, "Who am I?" with the words of Paul to Timothy: one who takes "hold of the life that is truly life" and freely and joyfully lets all else go.

The Grace to Celebrate

He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found...

In lieu of other plans which we had looked forward to, our family stayed home Saturday night and watched an early movie.  Before bed, we noticed the most beautiful full moon and went for a short walk down the street to enjoy the summer like temperatures and the beautiful night sky.  Along the way, we saw Mr. Cooper's door open as he sat inside watching basketball.  He is a retired high school English teacher who keeps an immaculate yard and beautiful home.  He is most frequently spotted at his piano just inside the front window of his enclosed porch.  We invited him to join us on our full moon walk, but he is afraid of leaving his house.  Instead, though, he did come out and visit with such delight that we eventually had to break it off to complete our walk.  He told us he'd play a piece on the piano for us as we walked back by.  Sure enough, when he saw us coming back up the street, he "jumped" on the piano and started playing.  He didn't notice us gathering outside his window to listen and applaud when he finished, but after a startling knock on his window, he looked up with laughter and amusement that we'd lingered.  He came out and told us it wasn't his best piece but he'd play that one for us next time.  What a sweet and immensely satisfying moment with a  neighbor.

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.  But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

    “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” Luke 15:28-32

Now obviously the power of this passage is the older brother's blindness to grace and sense of self-righteousness.  He shares the bewilderment of those workers in the vineyard who worked all day only to find the late comers received the same wages.  But there is something far more subtle and probably less meaty that struck me about it yesterday.  I'm like the older brother in all those arrogant ways, but I am also sadly like him in my reluctance to celebrate evidence of God's grace at work around me.  I get so focused on what is not right yet, on what is broken, on the evidence of a fallen world that I become blind to God's fingerprints in my daily life.

May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!” be appalled at their own shame.
But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say,  “The LORD is great!”  Psalm 40:15-16

Perfectionism, that constant identification of errors with “Aha!  Aha!”, is a product of pride and self-sufficiency.  I know because I am a perfectionist.  The thinking is that I am always in reach of my ideal, and if I can just identify to others and myself what is lacking, it absolves me of guilt for those remaining imperfections.  For example, when people come to our house, if I can be the first to point out all the things that need to be done or that are not praiseworthy, it distances me from their judgment that my house looks like this or that simply because I don't know better or have terrible taste.  (Both may be true, mind you.)  A perfectionist can't simply celebrate the house because to do so might be foolish in the eyes of those who find the place greatly wanting.  So, a constant state of discontentment is both self-protecting and identifies my self as the answer to all that needs to be completed.  Where is the need for Jesus realized in this approach to life and judgment?  Hmmm…

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.  Luke 17:15-16

We watched 127 Hours last week about the hiker who had to cut off his own arm as his only hope for living through entrapment in a cave.  In his five days of slowly dying before eventually escaping, he reflected on his life, his selfishness and his "I don't need anyone" life philosophy.  He acknowledged that it was this very ego-centric perspective that might cause his death as he hadn't returned his family's phone calls, hadn't told anyone where he was headed and never kept up with anyone enough to even realize he was missing for days.  This event changed him and the reality of dying so desperately in the wilderness radically impacted his appreciation for his parents, family and alienated friends and their love for him that he had in essence rejected.  An armless existence was worth celebrating in contrast to what might have been.

The black/white divide is real and in ways, impassable.  The affluent/poor divide is wide and ever widening, it seems.  The overeducated/undereducated divide creates such different vocabularies and perspectives that communication and friendship of equals becomes impossible to fathom.  And yet, as a reversal of Babel, the person and work of Jesus is reconciling and tearing down the walls of hostility that humanly can't be shaken.  While we feel the intimidating presence of these walls more in some relationships than others, I think Mr. Cooper on Saturday night and my friendships with other neighbors like Vivian and Thenesia who I hung out with on Thursday night remind me that there is plenty to celebrate if I have eyes to see.

The psalmist names those "who long for his saving help" as the ones who always say, "The Lord is great!"  The brokenness reminds me that I need the Redeemer to do what I cannot.  But the evidences of life, love, beauty and reconciliation remind me to celebrate and be glad because my Redeemer lives and is working out His promises to make all things new even now, this day, all around me.  Rather than moving from one felt need to the next, like the other lepers healed by Jesus, may I be increasingly compelled to take time to celebrate and thank Jesus for the healing He has done and is doing.

Inward Renewal

I have always measured my days and my value to others by accomplishment.  It has been a great day when I can rattle off all the things I completed.  I feel far more worthless on the days when nothing in my environment has much improved or progressed despite my having a healthy and capable mind and body to contribute.  Growing up in an achiever's culture is certainly a part of how I got this way, after all, one of the first questions asked by strangers is, "What do you do?" What we do tells other people how interesting we are, how necessary we are and how potentially beneficial we might be to know.  Though most of us are savvy enough to object to workaholism, we admire it like a suntan no matter the known hazards.  Like pasty white skin, laziness is far more abhorrent to us than the short-sighted and self-destructive nature of the other end of the spectrum.

So, when life "in the city" in an urban culture which seems surprisingly unfamiliar to me, confronts this, I have to listen.  Yesterday, I had the privilege of sitting down with Bob Lupton, an experienced forerunner in the area of urban renewal for the Kingdom and not just self-improvement.  Without fully knowing it, he lovingly rebuked my achiever's mentality when it comes to establishing trust and loving relationships with my new neighbors.  Here is an example:  An older neighbor says of fond neighborhood memories, "We used to all spend so much time together, sitting on front porches and gathering our families."  My natural response is, "Well, let's do it now!  I'll host a cook-out!"  Bob advises against this idea that the new folks are the fixers and rescuers and, confirming suspicions, the ones with an agenda for change.  Instead, I should offer, "Wow, that sounds wonderful.  How do you think we could ever experience that here again?"  For that and other such neighborhood needs, rather than jumping in and saying, "I'll do it!" the better role is to ask, "Who do you know in the neighborhood who would love to do that?/Who could we ask to..."

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9


I think about the Israelites wandering in the desert, an overhead map showing how inefficient their route actually was.  I think about the way Jesus went about healing, teaching and training.  When I stop long enough to notice, it is hard to miss the fact that efficiency rarely seems to be God's priority.  It doesn't seem that outward impressions are as important to Him as they clearly are to me.


Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  2 Cor. 4:16


Inward renewal is the only lasting renewal.  Inward renewal is slow.  Inward renewal takes time and patience and persistence.  Inward renewal is rarely visible, and certainly not to eyes in a hurry.  This is true of the sanctification process and it is true of my neighborhood.  Loving my neighbors for the Kingdom is going to have to mean resisting the urge to do for them and embracing the call to be for them.  In a few instances, the outward expression of these two things may be the same.  In many it will not.  It will mean laying down my need to list my accomplishments and prove the value of my presence here.  It will mean watching and listening far more carefully and closely to discover the strengths and gifts and passions which live in the houses all around me.  It will mean actually caring about the interests of others above my own so that my goal for living moves rapidly away from the high school motivational question:  What do you want your obituary to say about you?  It means working so hard to draw others out that when all has been accomplished, it seems I have done nothing at all.  


I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Gal. 2:20


Inward renewal means I quit measuring my days based on my accomplishments and start recognizing His.

The Desire to Belong

I'm not sure that the desire to belong is all bad.  As a matter of fact, I think it is pretty good.  The desire reminds me that I am not an island unto myself but made as part of a greater whole.  It was not right for Adam to be alone.  One part of the body cannot function nor be sustained separated from the body itself.  The desire for belonging reminds me of my limitations, of my need and ultimately, that I am a dependent creature.


For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.  If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Romans 14:7-8


There are two things I was thinking about this morning in regard to this belonging:1) to whom or what I attach my belonging and 2) how my sense of belonging directs my perceptions and interactions with others.


I belong the the Lord, according to what He has told me in His word.  This matters.  I belong to Him as a dearly loved child and not as a dispensable possession.  This is a position guaranteed by the work of Jesus, secure because my sin and righteousness cannot increase or decrease this connection.  I won't get voted out, driven out, phased out, excluded or even tuckered out of this belonging.  It is a guarantee that I will never be alone and forgotten by the maker, redeemer, sustainer and ruler of all that has been made.  We're talking about the One who sets up kings and deposes them, the only One in the universe who can tell the waves this far you may go and no further, and the ONLY One who opens doors nobody can shut and who shuts doors that nobody can open.  What club/school/neighborhood or other membership offers anything close to this kind of power and influence to those who belong?


And yet, the other types of belonging to which I run and cling with white knuckles offers an immediate sense of validation and significance.  And then I see what my desire to belong is about:  I want to belong to know that I matter and am important.  My heart views membership as something that serves me which also means that I then view other people accordingly.  To the extent that they make me feel "at home" in my own skin, and therefore like we "belong" together, I am at peace in their presence.  To the extent that they seem foreign, "other" and disconnected from what is familiar to me, I feel stiff, silenced and uncomfortable in our perceived lack of belonging together.  My delight and comfort with other people, my decision to draw near to some and avoid others, is by this standard all about how those relationships serve me.


For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5


The person and work of Jesus declare my membership in His body something that serves the whole body.  Because I securely belong, I am freed from a self-serving stance in relationships to serve others.  How wonderfully different from membership serving my unquenchable craving for belonging to appease my insecurity.  It offers a new view of "others" as well.  Other people no longer are categorized by how they make me feel "at home" or like we "belong" together.  Suddenly, perhaps, people who look totally different than me, who think in foreign ways to my conceptual frameworks, who speak differently and live differently become just as comfortable to be with as those who seem to make me feel more known and understood.  If my desire to belong would be fully met in Jesus, who has already told me that I do belong to Him, how might that send me out to interact with others?


Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  1 John 4:11-12

Game Plan

My kids love to know "the game plan" for Saturdays or travel days or really most days.  They surely get that from me.  It is just nice to know where we're headed, what to expect and how to prepare mentally and emotionally for what is to come.  In general, I guess it is what our achiever culture has come to expect as indicated by typical questions asked:  of the new home owner - "What are your plans for landscaping?/renovation?", of the newly engaged - "When are you getting married?",  of the newly married - "So when do you think you will start having children?",  of the new parent - "how many more children do you plan to have?", of the organizational leader - "What is your goal for the company/ministry/industry?" and on it goes.


There is a sense that without a specific goal, time is being wasted and energy spent is fruitless.  I like Tolkien's quote: "Not all those who wander are lost."  But even the word "wander" implies aimlessness, doesn't it?  The need to know where I am headed helps me to properly evaluate where I am right now.  Isn't this why car trips are especially excruciating for the very young who have no idea what "46 more miles" or "an hour and half" actually mean?  All the child knows is that he or she is strapped uncomfortably into a car seat, unable to move freely until someone else mercifully offers them freedom.


He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  Acts 1:7-8


Oh but I want to know the times and dates!  I mean, if I could just have a sound track playing in the background, I could know when someone scary was lurking around the corner, or when I was free to frolic and skip around gaily.  Just tell me what is coming so I know how to act right now and how to feel about what is happening right now.

And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.  I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling.  My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,  so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.  1 Cor. 2:1-5


"For I resolved to know nothing except Jesus Christ...and the game plan."  Wait, no.  "I need to know the person and work of Jesus...and my specific goals and life purposes."  Not what it seems to say.  "My life is to proclaim the testimony about God...with a clearly developed mission statement and strategic plan."  Wait, not there either.


“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matt. 4:19



Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” Matt. 8:21-22




Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  John 12:25-27


His very first disciples had daily plans, daily goals, daily responsibilities.  They weren't bohemian gypsies.  Yet Jesus did not seem to satisfy what would have been reasonable, the question of "Where?" or "For how long?"


By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.  By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise.  Hebrews 11:8-9


 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.  Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling,  because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.  For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.  Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.  For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:1-7

He has prepared the good works in advance for us to do.  He will complete the good work that He has begun.  He is at work in us to will and to act according to His good purpose.  He has fashioned us for this very purpose.  We are to walk by faith,  not by sight.  Oh how I hate that. I want to see!  I want to know the game plan.  I want confirmation that right now is good and right.  But His sovereignty already assures me that it is. He invites me into a new kind of confidence, one that is by faith and not by sight.  A confidence not based on human wisdom nor built by human hands and effort.  My confidence is far more in clearly stated objectives, universal approval from others and tangible accomplishments.  He is asking me to come, follow Him, and find my confidence, trust, peace, security and certainty in His person and work instead.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. Jer. 17:7

Never, Lord!

We had the most wonderful weekend up in Durham, NC for Ellie's first grade teacher's wedding.  The hotel was more than lovely, and I seriously considered the fact that the children's book character "Eloise" might be on to something taking permanent residence in such a place.  As I was jogging the three mile loop through the Duke forest, feeling the restfulness of the weekend and processing the contrast of what feels like two different worlds in which I now live, I passed a man wearing this on the back of his t-shirt:

"Winning is everything - if you want to be elite".

Oddly, that captured well part of what I have been struggling with in this move and the subsequent choices it is compelling our family to make.  Since birth, I have been driven to win.  I didn't want to just play soccer, I wanted to be the first female Pele in the sport.  (A knee injury interrupted those plans.)  I didn't want to practice piano, I wanted to be an immediate concert hall sensation...so I gave it up quickly when that evidently wasn't going to happen.  In elementary school, I felt the pressure to do well on math quizzes so that I could get the grades needed to get into the "best" prep school to get into the best college to get the best job...and so on.  

While that may sound too obviously superficial and silly, there was always the goal in each endeavor to maximize my personal potential and achieve the most possible with the talents, abilities and opportunities I had been given. This of course required hard work, connecting with lots of people in the areas that could strengthen my skills and increase my opportunities and so on.  It also required seasons of really examining what are my gifts and talents, what color is my parachute anyway and what are my aptitudes, work environment preferences and ultimate dreams for my life.  Lurking in all of this, even if not as arrogant as a basketball t-shirt is allowed to be, is certainly the desire to win the most elite positions of influence, authority and in a non-sinister and very practical way, power.

From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”    Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.  Matt. 16:21-27

The idea of knowingly suffering, of walking right into it rather than avoiding it at all costs, is as foreign to me today as it was to Peter then.  And Jesus reminds me as He did Peter, in those moments, that I do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.  Interestingly, God's concerns included the redemption of humankind, something far better than life in a luxurious hotel.

After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.  The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.  “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you, 

and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”

 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.  “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”

 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. Matt. 4:2-11

Jesus was hungry.  Bread would have been really yummy.  When I have passed more than three hours between meals, I might take the tempter up on the offer.  My discomfort is just that powerful.  Hunger is wrong.  Thirst means my body is in need.  Sadness indicates something is broken.  Pain is an indicator which demands a response.  Losing is bad.  An inferior wine is to be returned to the bar for a better bottle, an inferior product of any kind is to be returned for one that works.  If you have the money and the knowledge to get the better product, get the better product.  If you have the connections to get the better job, get the better job!  If you have the ability to get into the better school, go to the better school!  "Never settle for second best!"  Is it any wonder that Peter didn't get it?  

I have so bought into the American dream that each step I take away from it feels like educational, social and future suicide.  I do not have in mind the concerns of God.  He does not need for me to be elite by being the winner of the most and the best, because He already is.  

And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.  

Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost.  If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.  

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, 

 the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.  

For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man.  

For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 

But each in turn: Christ, the first fruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. 

1 Cor. 15:17-23

If this life is all I have, then it makes a lot of sense to grab what I can, die with the most stuff and biggest name, and make winning everything.  But if, like Jesus, I am invited into the concerns of God for His entire people and creation and out of a singular focus on my own concerns, maybe walking away from "the best" for myself and my children and entering into messy, complicated and often losing circumstances is where I get to see Jesus most clearly.

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?”  Luke 24:25-26

I want to skip the suffering and enter straight into His glory.  He invites me into something so much better, richer and more brimming with life.  As I reluctantly agree to carry my cross, to be crucified with Christ, it is then I begin to experience what His resurrection really promises and offers.  And like Peter, time and time again, He restores me from my "never" and helps me to see, where else would I go but to and with the One who has the words of life?