Do It Yourself IS for Dummies

So, this house renovating is killing me for a reason.  I am not skilled, I am not knowledgeable, I have only little increments of time and decreasing stamina.  Yet, I continue to do it myself and do it poorly.  Now,  don't worry, this is not a pity party...there are chuckles in my words as I say them.  If you could see the walls I worked on this morning, I hope you would laugh too.  We were supposed to mud and sand three times to get it smooth and exact.  We did two rounds of mud, one relatively good sanding and a second lame attempt at sanding and then I started to paint.  This particular wall has a textured look like you may find in a third world stucco exterior.  So, we'll just call it our "nod to other cultures" wall.  I'm not sure how to re-package the dried drips or paint lines on other walls or the holes I still haven't spackled but have painted over anyway...moon crater-esque?

When Peter saw this, he said to them: “Fellow Israelites, why does this surprise you? Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk?  The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Jesus. You handed him over to be killed, and you disowned him before Pilate, though he had decided to let him go. You disowned the Holy and Righteous One and asked that a murderer be released to you. You killed the author of life, but God raised him from the dead. We are witnesses of this. By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through him that has completely healed him, as you can all see. Acts. 3:12-16

There are some things that are just easier to identify as "clearly the work of the Spirit", though we as believers claim all good gifts are from Him.  But, I for one still think I've got what it takes to get the job done independently.  My stubborn yet sloppy job on the walls of our new home is simply a visual aid for what my do-it-yourself righteousness is really like.  While an initial glance may only give the impression of the chosen color livening up the room, any further observation reveals the extensive (and in places obscene) mperfections.  Not only is the job not completed in a remotely satisfactory way, but all of my muscles ache, my hands have blisters and my joints feel swollen.  I am exerting all the energy I have to do a job poorly which professionals could come in and do well and more quickly.

O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?  Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith— Gal. 3:1-5

I want to be more loving or more patient or more generous or more...and so I decide to do it myself and wonder 1)why it isn't working, 2) why it is so exhausting and taxing and 3) what I need to do to get it right the next time.  It was God who began the good work in me, it is God who wills and acts in me according to His good purpose and it is the fruit of the Spirit that I need in greater abundance.  How exactly is it that I think I can produce in myself what is only His to cultivate and grow?

I was reading the parable of the prodigal son to Chad today and it occurred to me how deeply I still don't "get" the Father.  I continue to believe I am on a merit system with Him, earning blessings or clearly deserving the consequences of my laziness, selfishness and so on.  But the father doesn't give this son a lecture, doesn't make it a teachable moment to shame him and bring the spotlight on who was right and who was wrong and He doesn't tell his son to live with the consequences of the hole the son knowingly dug.  He clothes His lazy, greedy and selfish child with His robe, orders up a feast and celebrates His son's safety and returned presence.

The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. Gen. 3:21

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Is. 61:10




for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Gal. 3:27


For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? 1 Cor. 4:7

My righteousness in Christ is completely earned/paid for/merited by Jesus alone.  It is like a debit account kept full by Him and at my disposal.  Then, rather than my cheap attempts at doing it myself, He sends His Spirit to plant, tend, grow and flourish His fruit in me.  His renovation of me is professionally accomplished and will not have to be re-done.  It cannot spoil, perish or fade.  It doesn't require marketing or spin to make it appear right.  He doesn't ask me to blister my hands to attempt what His hands have already been pierced to accomplish. 

I'm ok with the horribly unprofessional job I have done on the wall if only because it may serve as a physical reminder of a significant truth.  Being made holy, being conformed to His image, being transformed from fallen and broken to "perfect, complete, lacking nothing" is a job only possible for the person and work of Jesus.  May this truth not only give me rest and peace in the process, but also increase my patience with others who are also in His process.

So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.  Zech. 4:6

Soul Care

Poor Terrell has called home to too many tears this week.  There is something about hearing his voice on the phone that signals "collapse", in the same way that my dad showing up early this morning, with Gatorade for Chad who threw up throughout the night, evoked immediate tears from this tired mama.  The sight, or voice, or presence of someone who fits the role of "care giver" to my deepest needs exposes my neediness and invites those tears.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.  Psalm 27:5

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.  I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”...LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure...Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,  because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:1-2, 5, 9-11

Why do I assume the "day of trouble" only means a midieval battle field or something newsworthy?  And why do I feel the soul care I really need is not available at all moments from my loving heavenly Father through Jesus the way I expect my husband or parents to meet my bottomless needs?
 
The deception from the Garden onward has been that God is not for us, or able to help us, or willing to really meet the deepest needs of our weak estate.  So, what follows naturally is that we must do it ourselves, grab for the "personal self care" ourselves.  I begin to demand it from people around me who themselves have realized and unrealized needs for care and nurture themselves.  While God gives us the body of believers to live with and love, He gives us Himself first and yet I look to Him last.  May I hear His voice, look into His eyes and know His presence as that place of collapse, of safety and the source of care for the deepest weariness of my soul.
 
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.  Psalm 62:5
 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

Teeming with Life

Terrell leaves for New York today, a trip on which I had hoped to accompany him.  His pending departure without me opened the floodgates of tears that have been unintentionally suppressed for a while now.  I am tired.  We joke about the "few" things we have going on: adopting an orphan from Africa, moving into a neighborhood where we will initially be outsiders, working until our hands are swollen and our backs aching on this house so that it will feel like home sooner than later, and Terrell leading the charge to get a charter school started for the Westside of Atlanta.  Oh yeah, and I have two precious munchkins that actually need to be parented today, friends with whom I am privileged to share life through all it's celebrations and heart breaks and apparently a dog to adopt in the next couple of weeks as we move into our house.  (Dogs are more effective than alarms, we've been told, in deterring would be assailants.)  It all feels absurdly American hyper-active as it certainly must sound in your mind as you read this.  Yet, these are also very clearly the things God has called us to at this very time.  Even so, I am tired: physically and emotionally.  So last night, I cried and cried some of the exhaustion out.

Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God”?  Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Is. 40:27-31

What I love about New York, what oddly makes it a place of rest for me, is that it is teeming with life.  There is a sense of being "on the verge" as we head out to dinner in Chelsea or to Wednesday Night Song Club (a gathering of local musicians either home from touring or not yet launched in their careers) that now meets in Brooklyn or for a long solo run through the northern part of Central Park.  For the few days I am there, much like the beach, I am free of schedules and responsibility for anyone or anything other than my imagination.  The restfulness of God being God rather me is so much easier to enjoy when it is so clear that nothing around me is dependent upon me to be accomplished or sustained.

See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him.  He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Is. 40:10-11

The weariness I am feeling, in part, is simply a reality of the "toil" that accompanies labor in a broken world.  The work itself brings dignity and life, but the toil is a reminder that I am not the author of life nor can my work ever be a reliable source for my stability or significance.  And that is the other part of the weariness: I have forgotten that I am shepherded by One who carries me close to His heart, who gently leads me and gathers me in His arms.  I am not the Good Shepherd and much of my toil and weariness results from assuming His absence.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:10-11

Jesus is teeming with life!  New York City, the beach, a clean five star hotel room, a hip meat packing district restaurant or hotel top bar, a music night or long run through Central Park can never offer, provide or give what they never really had - genuine life and that to the full.  Yet I look to them instead of the author, redeemer and sustainer of life.

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.  And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.  Acts 17:24-25

This is what God the LORD says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: “I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols." Is. 42:5-8
He has worked so that I may rest.  He continues to work out His accomplished righteousness so that my heart may be at rest.  He will finish the work so that I may one day, finally, enter His rest.  It is in Him alone that I can find any life, but not just any life - a life on the verge of His Kingdom's victory.  He is teeming with life...oh would I go to Him!

From Buckhead to Bankhead

As I've been journeying daily into our new neighborhood to work on the house, a neighborhood only a couple of miles from the epicenter of the rest of our life, I am becoming more conscious of feeling like a foreigner. As I make the turn from Chattahoochee Industrial onto Marietta Blvd, the transition begins. By the time I turn right onto Donald Lee Hollowell (better known in the ATL as Bankhead Hwy, despite the effort to rename it and change it's reputation), there is a distinct feeling that I am not in Kansas anymore, or in my case, "Buckhead". I am extremely conscious of the fact that I don't know what the "norms" are here or in how many ways I am violating them. My skin color alone makes me a more obvious outsider here, but how many more of the childhood norms and expectations that go along with a life lived in white skin, in a culture that prizes white skin, will I discover have the potential to further alienate me from my new neighbors?


In reality, in every community there is a much broader vocabulary that we take for granted, there are style and taste assumptions we take for granted, there are forms of social interaction from small talk to humor to how we select our invitation lists that have all been shaped by the community in which we live. It is not like an after school special where a room is silenced if you break one of these norms, but there is a distinction between insider and outsider based on one's compliance with local norms (from school cultures to neighborhoods to nations). This is what makes the junior high student anxious entering the lunch room and it is what I am noticing makes my shoulders start to tighten as I drive into my new neighborhood.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. Phil. 3:4b-9

I feel the insecurity of outsider status, knowing that surely at least one person watching through their screened window is asking, "Well now what are those crazy white people doing?" My most natural default mode is to declare internally that "they just don't know" and to assume the superior status with "my way". This assumption would of course be based on my personal community's norms and laws by which I would then choose to judge this entire community as themselves "outsiders". Great, then I win and they lose the insider/outsider game. OR I could try to do away with all the ways I've always operated and mimic the norms, vocabulary and cultural standards of my new neighborhood. Shame to Buckhead, bring in Bankhead. In those two options, I have to choose which laws I want to abide by and whose mark of approval will gain more for me.

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. Romans 3:20

My confidence and security has been placed in my own norms following, my own sense of abiding by the commonly agreed upon laws of the land. As these change, so does my peace, security, and confidence.

For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. Romans 8:3-4

The only Law that matters is God's, and it is a law whose demands I can never meet. Yet, all of the Law's demands have been fully met by Jesus who credits me with His righteousness.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10

And here is the difference: my laws, my community's laws and all other cultural norm regulating laws turn my gaze inward and seem to have as their goal the identification of insiders and outsiders. In beautiful contrast, God's Law is a written description of His own character. The goal of His Law written on my heart is that it would send my gaze outward to love others as I have been loved. I am no longer living under the norms of Buckhead nor will I simply change to adapating Bankhead's laws. Drawing lines alienates, while the person and work of Jesus reconciles.

You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. Gal. 5:4-5

Each time I feel that outsider insecurity creep into my body, would it immediately redirect my heart to the only source of security it was ever intended to have. Oh would my falls from grace, my grace amnesia, become less and His favor, His approval, and His warm embrace become more.

Lordship

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3:14-16

The reminder that Jesus alone is Lord shouldn't sound like something new or profound or novel.  But it has been for me in the past week.  I guess I am just exceptionally easily persuaded to bow to other "lords" who would tell me how I should be thinking about something, or feeling, or responding or acting.

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments...For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. Col. 2:2-4, 9-10

Jesus is the head over every power and every authority.  EVERY power and EVERY authority!  Wow.  For me, cynical people speak with such authority that I am immediately silenced.  The same thing happens for me with naysayers and mockers.  I am equally disoriented by loud, angry and unpredictable people.  Satan so cleverly turns my head and pulls the rug out from under me because he always uses true statements or experiences and twists them just ever so slightly, drawing my attention to the accurate technicalities and away from my Lord.

Godly Christians are not my Lord,  nor are admired friends, influential acquaintances, opinionated neighbors or much loved family.  I can only serve the pleasures of One master.  I can only rest in the security of One.  Just like the Pharisees, I love the praises of men more than the praise of God.  I already have the praise of God through the completed work of Jesus on my behalf, but I still want the approval of men.  My need for the approval of others enslaves me to them, so that I am no longer loving them freely but using them to meet my need.

On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. 1 Thes. 2:4

When Jesus alone is my Lord, the threatening or judgmental words of someone else vying for the position just don't hold the same power over my inner well being.  When Jesus alone is my Lord, even the highest praises of men seem unsatisfying in addition to the riches of His grace and the perfection of His love.  Since the Lord Jesus has already been judged in my place, all further judgments offered by self-serving lords are irrelevant.  Why then do I so quickly lay prostrate before the judgments, praises or gazes of other lords?

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.  Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.  Psalm 62:1-2
 
The truth is, I am often shaken.  But the better truth is that when I am shaken, my only true Lord draws my attention back to Himself and away from the counterfeit lords in whom I sought rest, shelter and protection. 
 
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Is. 9:6

Restoration

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. Psalm 71:19-21


Oh how real and honest and raw and hopeful God's word always is! God is the author and perfector of our faith, which includes making us see troubles, many and bitter, as very essential elements in the restoration process. Today Walter commented on the reality (or quoted somebody?) that we who identify with a crucified savior are bound to feel the splinters of the cross. From the promise made in the Garden, that the Redeemer would be bruised and that new birth would be accompanied by great pain, the hope of restoration was never contradicted by the presence of heart ache, troubles or seeming loss. The crushing of the head of the serpent, and the eventual and exhaustive victory of righteousness and beauty over toxic self-absorption and decay, is certain.

I have not had the much needed benefit of writing regularly in recent weeks because we have been totally consumed with the restoration of what will soon be our new home. The bank calls the neighborhood "highly distressed", but we have found it warm, welcoming and beautiful. The current reality is somewhere between the two, a little like those of us "in Christ". I find my own current reality somewhere between the two! I've only once included pictures in my writing, mostly because I'm lazy and not very technologically advanced. But I want to show you the outside.

We have worked tirelessly on the inside of this house for a few weeks now. First we filled and then removed about five large black bags of trash from inside the house. Then we began removing baseboards, moldy cabinets, carpet saturated with dog urine and who knows what else as well as some pretty awesome light fixtures circa 1984. The house appears to have been treated roughly and attended to sloppily, (with a great affection for nails rather than screws which leave gaping holes when removed!) At the same time, we've been cleaning and painting and sheet-rocking and reflooring. Terrell and I stayed until 1am Saturday night and woke up feeling swollen, sore and absolutely worn out. Do you know how the front of the house looks at this moment? Well, it looks about the same (not including a very dramatic power washing by my dad last weekend.) But, the point is, the change is hard, it is slow and it is not visible from the outside. But it is happening!

"This is what the LORD says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying, "Give thanks to the LORD Almighty, for the LORD is good; his love endures forever." For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the LORD. Jer. 33:10-11

The captivity of God's people was as much about their restoration as their seasons of feasting and celebration. The story of Israel, which is the story of the Redeemer, is the story of my redemption even as I watch it unfold in this little house.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

His restoration of me did not begin because He noticed something beautiful in me, but His beauty in me will become visible through the process of His restoration. His suffering and obedience on my behalf, followed by His transformative work in my heart, applies His righteousness while at the same time removing my moldy parts. This process of sanctification is not validated or even obviously evidenced by external snapshots, but it is happening!

He takes the deserted and makes it flourish. He takes the rejected and calls them chosen. He takes the forgotten and declares His remembrance. He takes the orphan and calls her His child. He takes the ugly and despised and makes it beautiful and cherished. The house is contributing nothing to this restoration process, but is receiving the benefits of our hard work and slowly displaying it over time. May I too find rest, peace, solid hope and great joy in the confidence that He who began a great work in me is the One who will be faithful to bring it to completion.  And may I begin to look past the outer facade of those around me, and peer through their windows, to see the restoration as it is indeed happening by His work inside them as well.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Sam. 16:7

Self-Preservation Before the Cross

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. Col. 2:2-4

What strikes me here in Paul's writing is that fine-sounding arguments are so easily able to persuade me that the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are separate from the person and work of Jesus.  "They" never say that, so blatantly, of course (and by "they" I mean the chorus which is often enlarged by my own heart's inner monologue!) .  But I've been thinking more about the way people use the word wisdom - almost as a threat when they don't like the choice you are making.  When I tell someone "I don't think what you are doing is wise", I almost never mean, "I don't think what you are doing looks like the person and work of Jesus."  No, what I usually mean is that it isn't good budgeting, or it might not keep you safe from getting hurt or protected from losing something valuable.  It is just startling to me how easily I begin to believe that the American dream is perfectly compatible with Christian faithfulness - comfort, security and prosperity.  Any alternative automatically means a wasteful, irresponsible suicide mission.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.  Col. 2:6-10

I am easily thrust into doubt and self-consciousness because the arguments against God's calling may be hollow, but they are powerfully deceptive.  The basic principles of this world and human tradition have merit.  Traditions exist because they worked successfully more than once.  Principles of this world, such as self-preservation, self-protection and self-interest are hard to argue against on a moral level when brought into real life contexts.  But they become much harder to defend at the foot of the cross.

but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
1 Cor. 1:23-24Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Phil. 2:4


May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Gal. 6:14


This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16



For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.  Mark 8:35

I am pretty sure that Jesus was not on an irresponsible, wasteful, suicide mission.  Being in very nature God, He took on the nature of a servant.  He surrendered His rights to be served by the world, to be served by His accomplishments and merits, to be served by His reputation and chose to love those who did not even love Him first.  Actually, He came to those who were at enmity with Him, starting with Adam and Eve.  God's people for whom Jesus entered creation didn't just "not love Him", they despised His reminder that they were not gods unto themselves.  He did not fear what others would say about or do to or take from Him because there was nothing of His character, value, power, love, purpose or presence that was, is or could ever be in the least bit threatened or diminished.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. John 12:24

My inclination to cling to the familiarity and safety of the stalk feels quite reasonable.  I am scared about what others might say or do or take from me.  But nobody is fed by wheat that remains in the field until it withers and dies.  When I put self-preservation before the suffering of the cross, it feels immediately prudent until I see Jesus.  Then I realize that it is only in His death that I have life and it is because of His life, death and resurrection that I am guaranteed of abundant life - not the American dream but something fuller and more satisfying: the depths and riches of being one with Father through Jesus...an inheritance that thieves cannot steal nor can moths or rust destroy.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Cor. 1:18