Be Still and Know Him

So how does the Gospel provide that living water for me to drink? It is clear that I have preferred sugar water which dehydrates even as it looks so much like the very thing I need. Here is what Scotty Smith wrote:

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Lord Jesus, doing noble things for you is not the same thing as spending life-giving time with you. Thinking great thoughts about you is not the same thing as vital communion with you. Helping others understand the gospel is not the same thing as freshly connecting with you. I’m not really all that concerned about others being able to say, “He’s been with Jesus” as much as I want to know that I’ve been with you.

Because… who do I have I in heaven but you, Jesus? And being with you, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but you, Jesus, are the strength of my heart and my portion forever… It is good, and it is enough, for me to be near you… my sovereign savior and my loving refuge. So very Amen, I pray in Jesus name.

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Right now, my heart is failing because I do desire many things on earth more than Jesus...mostly I desire bold work with Him to be part of making all things new even now. He wants me to be satisfied by Him alone, to have no identity outside of Him, to cling for life to nothing other than Him, to desire nothing compared to communion and oneness with Him.


I want to run, go, do, fight for His Kingdom, leave it all out on the field for His glory... yet He is calling me simply to be still and know Him. Lord, would you still me? Would you quiet my wandering, restless heart and hold it close to yours? Thank you that you have not left me to grab at you, to approach you properly, to quiet myself, to say the right thing or ask in just the right way. You are not waiting on me "to get it" or to "figure it out". YOU will complete the good work that YOU have begun so I will wait and I will trust.

Raw Heart

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5

My hope is constantly in "things to come" or attaining my wish list, yet this seems to imply the goal of our hope is the love of God poured into our hearts. What is more satisfying than the love God? Yet other great things seems so much more tangible and honestly what I want more urgently...adopting orphans, racial reconciliation, communicating the Gospel, moving toward others in love when disengagement is so much easier.

My heart is raw this week, for somewhat trivial circumstances. They however are the means which God has used to show me where I have placed my hope rather than in Him alone. Following Him is so much easier for me than sitting with Him. Working for Him is so much more manageable than communing with Him. He asks me to trust Him, to accept His terms rather than serve mine like a drive through window. His love is not meant to be a means to an end, but is the very end in itself. I don't understand so I avoid Him, keep moving, and running after related things but not the very One I need most.

But God is good and lovingly jealous for His daughter Jane and is determined to pull me out of my restless addiction to "snacking" on junk food to pull me into the feast of His love. Its not that those other desires and outworkings of the Gospel are bad, but they are no replacement for Him alone. Everything is junk food compared to the nourishment that only His love can provide.

Oh so prone to wander, Lord I feel it!

May this stripping of the insufficient garments in which I have lamely tried to cover my heart be replaced by the lavish clothing of His presence, His love, Himself! May this rawness of my heart, this physical distress, not simply find relief in distraction and busyness, but remain until and unless satisfied by Him.

Sabbath from Striving

Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the LORD your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day. Deuteronomy 5:15

Walter spoke this morning on the forming habit of Sabbath rest. This verse, in its full context, explains exactly why it is not a new law but a gracious gift and also exposes why I cannot seem to take hold of this genuine, deep rest.

Restlessness, anxiety, impatience...these seem to characterize my heart far more than their counterparts. At the heart of the matter, (which is where the matter always starts), is my endless striving. It is so much my default mode that I am not even conscious of it until I have effectively stomped all over each person in my family in those moments when I feel the most stressed. My endless striving steals life not only from me, but from those around me. I endlessly strive because I don't realize I have been set free from the slavery of attaining my own righteousness, of earning God's approval and of needing man's praise. Perfectionism is a deceptive slave master, and a pretty thin veil for my pride.

God made Him who had no sin to become sin that I may become His righteousness. I no longer live but Jesus lives in me - it is His striving which attains all I need for approval, completion and rest. I have been rescued from behind the tree like Adam, from my passed out humiliation like Noah, from my bitter, hateful self-righteousness like Paul. So I can rest, have the freedom to rest, have the permission to rest and am given the faith to rest.

Oh that the foretaste Sunday provides of genuine, soul satisfying rest that has been gifted to me would begin to be accepted in my heart.

"Out of unrest and arrogant pride, Jesus I Come, Jesus I Come" - William T. Sleeper 1887

Beginnings

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song, the joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue. Thy free grace alone from the first to the last has won my affections and bound my soul fast. Without Thy sweet mercy I could not live here. Sin would reduce me to utter despair. But through Thy free goodness my spirit's revived, and He that first made me still keeps me alive. Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart which wonders to feel its own hardness depart. Dissolved by Thy goodness I fall to the ground and weep for the praise of the mercy I found.
- Sandra McCracken

Compelling grace is not grace that is compelled by anything spectacular or praiseworthy in me but a grace bound solely in the covenant love of God that pushes me out of myself, toward others and into a broken world.

Pushing me out of myself is no light matter because I consume a lot of my thoughts. Pushing me toward others would be easy if it meant others to whom I am drawn or in some way find compelling. But more often, it is a pushing outward toward others who like me are messy, complicated, at times more self-absorbed than interested in the interests of others and needy of more than I feel resourced to give. The broken world is not a pessimistic view of the world but an honest acknowledgment that things like addiction, tribal conflict or gang violence, child abuse and trafficking, poverty, hunger, divorce, division, betrayal and so on not only exist but make life pretty terrifying for a lot of people.

When comfort and tidiness are of such high value to me, when self-preservation and the praise of men are too often my default mode guides, grace is the only thing that can compel me into the multi-dimensional realities of the world in which I live with the real and complicated people I encounter. And it turns out, this is good news indeed.