But what if it stirs in us that deep down longing to be cherished, to be romanced, to be focused upon, to be adored and praised and the undistracted center of somebody's gaze? What if that subtle (or not so secret) disappointment at the end of the day, even for those who are taken on lavish dates, isn't all bad? What if all these things serve to remind me that none of the people around me can ever satisfy those deep places as the One who calls us Beloved? What if they remind me of my demands that another person who is equally in need of a redeemer, through candies and cards and a prescribed level of affection, somehow serve as the Lover of my soul as he or she was never made or able to do?
Song of Solomon tells me how His unreasonable, undeserved, demerited love views me:
Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens. 2:2
for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. 2:14
All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you. 4:7
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! 7:6
Wait, this also means that Proverbs 31 isn't demanding that I be like Martha Stewart after all! It means, this is who God already declares me to be because of the work of Jesus and who I am assuredly becoming through His perfecting work:
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. v11
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. v25 About Benjamin he said: "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders." Deut. 33:12
I am fully, completely and consistently loved as sweet and lovely, flawless, pleasing, beautiful, with strength and dignity, secure and lacking nothing of value! This is God's assessment of me...not because He is blind to the times when I am not actually these things, but because He knows who He is making to me be and who I already am credited to be by the perfections of Jesus.
Oh would I quit looking for this complete, deep, thirst quenching love from those who are equally in need and instead turn to the One who provides all the riches of His full inheritance to us. To know how long and high and wide and deep is the love of God that I may in turn love others well as I demand less of them and believe more of Him.
In the words of Scotty Smith:
"I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me." (Song of Songs 7:10) Jesus, as you fulfill the true meaning of these words in our hearts, help us offer one another a tantalizing taste of such sumptuous fare. Indeed, your love alone is enough.
Grant me… grace me with a deeper and richer experience of belonging to you, Jesus. You’re the ultimate Spouse. I know this, but I want to KNOW it. One moment I believe you truly desire me, and in the next I’m filled with disconcerting unbelief. It’s in those times when I’m not alive to your pursuit of me, love for me and delight in me that I place unrealistic demands on other relationships. Instead of a steward, I become a user of others. Instead of a servant, I take up a scorecard to measure them by my expectations. Forgive me and free me from all such nonsense.
Let me love as you love me, until the day my betrothal becomes the day of great banqueting—the Day I long for more than any other… the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. So very Amen, I pray, in your tender and tenacious name."
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