But He Gives Me More Grace

We sing "all of you is more than enough for all of me", yet some days my discontent feels like kryptonite against the knowledge that His grace is enough.  My knowledge that all the riches of life and satisfaction are in Him alone does not have the power to override my wander lust for being "there" and getting "that".  The broken cisterns I continue to seek for refreshment, though I know they can never satisfy, have somehow become addictions.  (Yes, even ministry and God's Kingdom can quicly be described as those created things I worship rather than the Creator.)  I am forced once again, today, to see that grace is not Gatorade.  Its not something I can just pour into myself at halftime and then run off to complete the game on my own.  "Every hour I need thee" begins to become more than an old time hymn.

Grace is my hope for change where knowledge is not enough...after all, the demons knew exactly who Jesus was but were not made holy by their intellectual ascent. The Pharisees practiced holiness in their actions, but their hearts were far from Him.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinth. 12:9

My weakness is that I want what I want right now.  My weakness is my discontentment, my demand for control that I cannot have, my impatience and aggravation at having to wait.  My weakness is trusting more in what I see and what I hear than being certain of what has been promised and planned since before creation.  And it is to me, in this very place of weakness, that He says His grace is sufficient. 

It is not His grace plus my right thinking that will change me.  It is not His grace plus my better attitude that is my hope.  It is not some form of Gatorade that I grab, consume, and by which I then run out onto the field refueled.  Rather, it is the helmet of the astronaut on a space walk, which if removed, is certain death.  Unless I am aware of this weakness, that death awaits me unless I walk in it, I will assume I am strong enough for now and will take a sip if the heat gets to me.  (sorry for the mixed metaphor)  We boast in weakness not because of some artificial form of humility but because it is the only thing that keeps the helmet on our heads.

I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing! Gal. 2:21

The ache I have been feeling over an assortment of circumstances lately doesn't have to be ignored, hidden or quickly remedied.  His grace can handle both my circumstances and my less than admirable responses to them.  His grace can sort through my pure and impure motives.  His grace can cover over my blind spots and reign in the face of my lack of wisdom and understanding.  His grace can clarify His purposes when He needs them clarified and can carry me through when blindness seems more prevalent than sight.  His grace is not dependent upon my saying the correct words, choosing most wisely or acting nobly.  His grace is not dependent upon me at all but solely on the completed and perfect work of Jesus.

But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6

His grace isn't provided in rations, but is the very manna from heaven on which I can feast at the first pang of hunger.  His grace doesn't dry up if I ignore it or can't see it or understand it, but is a stream of living water provided by His obedience and perfect living, not mine.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Romans 8:33-34

Thank you Lord that even in my complaining, agitated, internal temper tantrum throwing attitude over the past few days (and hopefully not for many more), You are at work.  Even in my ungrateful, demanding, impatient fury that I cannot just be given what I want, Your are at work. Dying to self isn't pretty or simply ceremonial.  And, I assume that only the comatose go down without a fight, which is even within the reign of Your grace and part of Your victorious redemptive story.  Oh, it is so good to have my heart strengthened by grace!  Heb. 13:9

Yes Lord, your grace is sufficient for me.