He Withholds No Good Thing

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11

The exit ramp off of 75 is at most a quarter of a mile from the entrance to Ellie's school, yet this morning it took us about 20 minutes from the time we reached this exit until we actually got Ellie to school.  As we sat in the right turning lane not moving at all, the cars in the middle and left lanes just kept flowing smoothly and, in relation to our crawl, rapidly as they all turned left.  Ellie asked why we couldn't get into one of those lanes since they were moving much more quickly and efficiently.  It was a good question, from her perspective, but obviously answered by the fact that the speedy motion of those lanes would take us in the opposite direction of her school and therefore not actually be an advantage at all.

I've been wrestling for months with a few very specific desires of mine to which God seems to be saying "No", not necessarily with finality, but at least with a "not yet".  In each moment when this "not yet" really stings and lands on that very raw and exposed nerve of my heart, I am comfronted with how I will handle this rub.  To be honest, I typically respond by swinging to one of two natural and Gospel-less extremes:  stoicism (I will block out this emotion which is clearly of my flesh and therefore "bad") or fit throwing ("I want it I want it I want it and you just want me to be honest and happy, right God?!").  In A Praying Life, Paul Miller points out that Jesus prayed "Take this cup from me", honestly expressing what He wanted, but followed it by saying, "Not my will but yours be done."

So how is "dying to self" both different and even opposed to stoicsim (feelings are bad, desires are bad, flesh is bad, the body is bad - so eliminate these things from their interfering role in our thinking)?  Jesus didn't pretend His suffering was pleasant or even ignore the agony.  He faced it full on, felt it to the point of sweating blood and crying out to the Father with whom He had agreed upon this plan for redemption, "Why have you forsaken me?"  He didn't distract Himself from the pain or pretent it didn't matter.  Nor was His brutal honesty disrespectful or a lack of faith or sight, it was an expression of the reality of where He was in that moment...separated from the Father, covered in our rebellion and disgrace, hidden in our sin so that we could eventually be hidden in His righteousness.

But in His agony, He did not demand that God serve His needs.  In His sweat inducing, tear filled, life draining moments before He was arrested, He was both honest about how He felt and ultimately trusting of His Father's will and love and goodness.  Yet somehow I read Matthew's account in chapter 7 from this me-centered, demanding perspective rather than from a place of trust, which is that Gospel third way.  When a sinful father is able to give good gifts to his child, Jesus argues, how much more so will God who is holy and perfect give good gifts to His children?  So, I take this to mean, "Yeah, so if my earthly dad will give me what I want, You surely exist to one up that!"

The Gospel's "third way" (instead of our typical two extremes) is to say both "Ask" and "Trust".  Perhaps the fact that He withholds no good thing, rather than meaning that we should get everything we ask for, means if we haven't gotten it, maybe God knows its not as good as we think it is.  Like Ellie wanting to keep moving by heading rapidly off the exit ramp in the wrong direction.  Sitting still in the car is not so fun, but its how we eventually get her to the place she actually wants to be.

Its why I need Jesus from start to finish, in every hour.  Like Adam and Eve, my default assumption is that God is in fact withholding something good from me that I should be entitled to have.  My wants seek Lordship over my heart, my attitude, my perspective and my interactions with others.  I begin to trust my cravings more than I trust His love and goodness and sovereignty.  I begin to exist to serve my cravings more than existing to serve Him, which inevitably becomes my demand of the world and people around me too.

God made Him who had no sin to become sin that we me become the very righteousness of God.  He presents us as blameless before the throne of judgment.  No good thing is withheld from us because He walked blamelessly on our behalf.  I must trust Him in that and I must trust that if it is good, He will not withhold it.  And I must trust that if it is withhed, it must not be good as I have made it out to be.

For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.  Psalm 86:10-11